


Courting

by BeastOfTheSea



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, I got a bit tired of sex-equals-love fics, M/M, Parody, actually utter crack, and short... my apologies, mate!fic, not that this is much better, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2142981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeastOfTheSea/pseuds/BeastOfTheSea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wolf finds its Magical Mate (TM)! Clearly there is only one thing to do. /Parody/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Courting

The wolf sniffed the air, drool running from its open mouth. Yes... yes... that was its mate! Out there, bent over a pile of weeds... who weeded gardens at night? Well, it didn't matter. An eccentric mate was still a mate.

It came closer, panting with glee. Only a few more meters, and it could abduct its mate and do whatever it wished to it! Whether it liked it or not. Its body thrilled to the occasion as it trod silently towards the bespectacled teen. Three meters... two meters... _one_...

* * *

 

"Harry!" Ron shouted, bursting in with a wand in one hand and silver knife in the other. "We finally found - Er, _what_?"

Harry sat in the middle of a pile of shopping bags, half-eaten Valentine's Day chocolates, ribbons, expensive jewelry, and slobbered-upon Hallmark cards. Kneeling before him was an anthropomorphic wolf, serenading him with... er... _something_. Ron didn't speak Off-Tune Soulful Howling.

"I don't know either," Harry said with a sigh. "But really, Fenrir isn't such a bad bloke. Perfect gentleman, really, you ought to have seen the candlelit dinner... pity it was a still-twitching deer..."

**Author's Note:**

> I got tired of fics where dominant-mates/Alphas/etc. see their submissive-mates/Omegas/etc. and their first instinct is to... rape them, hooray. Because sex is the only expression of eternal love and soulbonds? This was the result.
> 
> Also, Fenrir Greyback is a shopaholic. Who knew?


End file.
